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그대는 할말을 어디에 두고 왔는가
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그대는 할말을 어디에 두고 왔는가

  • 허수경
  • |
  • 난다
  • |
  • 2018-08-08 출간
  • |
  • 320페이지
  • |
  • 130 X 195 mm
  • |
  • ISBN 9791188862160
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북스크린영상으로 만나보는 한 권의 책 이야기

출판사서평

 “그리움은 네가 나보다 내 안에 더 많아질 때 진정 아름다워진다.

이 책은 그 아름다움을 닮으려 한 기록이다.”

2018년 8월 허수경 시인의 산문집 『그대는 할말을 어디에 두고 왔는가』는 2003년 2월에 나온 『길모퉁이의 중국식당』의 개정판이기도 하다. 제목을 바꾸고 글의 넣음새와 책의 만듦새를 달리하여 15년 만에 다시 출간하였다.

이 책은 시인이 쓴 총 139개의 짧은 산문과 9통의 긴 편지로 이루어져 있다. 우리 자연과 우리 음식과 우리 사람과 우리 시를 그토록 뼈저리게 사랑했던 시인이 이 땅을 떠나 우리 자연이 아닌 우리 음식이 아닌 우리 사람이 아닌 우리 시가 아닌 막막한 독일땅에 혼자 던져지게 되면서 제 안에 고이게 된 이야기들을 특유의 시와 같은 사유로 풀어놓고 있다. 얼마나 배고플까 얼마나 외로울까 얼마나 서러울까 하는 모든 상황을 건너서서 섬찟섬찟 놀라게 되는 문장들을 마주할 때가 대부분인데, 그때마다 내가 놀라게 된 건 첫 장부터 마지막 장까지 시인이 쥐고 있는 손수건이 '죽음'이었구나 하는 걸 확인할 수 있어서였다.

사람 허리 창자를 끊을 만큼 무시무시한 말들인데 듣다 보니 묘하게 단련이 되는 것이, 그리하여 납득이 되는 것이, 우리에게 ‘죽음’을 일찌감치 공부시키고 훈련시켜서 긍정적이고 능동적이게 받아들이게도 한다는 점에 있었다. 사람을 휘게 하는구나, 구부리고 구부려서 끝끝내 부러지게 하지 않는구나, 모두를 원으로 둥글려놓는구나, 원이 원일 때 합하기도 좋게끔 그리 우리를 유연하게 하는구나. 

목차


개정판 서문 ···························· 4
초판 추천사 ···························· 6

001―이름 없는 나날들 ······················ 15
002―마당 있는 집 ························ 16
003―동화라구요? ························ 17
004―정원사의 영혼 ······················· 18
005―꽃밥 ··························· 19
006―막걸리 속의 꽃잎 ······················ 20
007―가네쉬의 코끼리 머리 ···················· 21
008―작은 사람 ························· 22
009―늙은 학생 ························· 24
010―입맛 ··························· 26
011―썩어가는 쇠고기, 찢긴 인형 ·················· 27
012―대구 촌놈, 코스모폴리탄 ··················· 28
013―노란 잠수함 ························ 30
014―아픈가, 우리는?······················· 31
015―오래된 허기 ························ 32

첫번째 편지 : 베트남 요리책―이문재 시인에게 ··············· 33

016―시커먼 내 속 ························ 43
017―노새 이야기 ························ 44
018―증기 기관을 와트의 아버지가 아니라 와트가 발명한 까닭······ 46
019―묘비 없는 묘비명 ······················ 47
020―내 속의 또다른 나 ······················ 48
021―살아 있는 도서관 ······················ 50
022―이건 죽고 사는 문젠데 ···················· 51
023―가소로운 욕심 ······················· 52
024―베를린 시장 ························ 54
025―누구도 아님의 장미 ····················· 55
026―소녀 전사 ························· 56
027―종교의 중립성 ······················· 57
028―점심 비빔밥 ························ 58
029―별들은 ·························· 59
030―어두움, 사무침 ······················· 60

두번째 편지 : 수메르어를 배우는 시간―차창룡 시인에게 ··········· 61

031―비단집 ·························· 70
032―곰이 또 실수를 했나?····················· 71
033―처음 본 죽음 ························ 72
034―내가 날씨에 따라서 변하는 사람 같냐구요?············ 74
035―마음속의 등불 ······················· 76
036―축제 ··························· 77
037―단풍 ··························· 78
038―지구는 둥글다 ······················· 79
039―냉전 시대, 복제 인간····················· 80
040―욕지기 ·························· 82
041―날틀 ··························· 83
042―우리 모두는 ························ 84
043―북경오리 만드는 법 ····················· 85
044―살아가는 조건을 밝히는 숫자 ················· 86
045―간 먹는 계모 ························ 88

세번째 편지 : 발굴을 하면서 빛에 대하여 생각하기―김지하 선생님께 ······ 89

046―가족계획 실천 마을 ····················· 99
047―품종 개량························· 100
048―평화주의자 ························ 101
049―새장 ··························· 102
050―오스턴 ·························· 104
051―상처의 어두움 ······················· 106
052―불안한 날························· 107
053―모든 것의 시작을 좇는 자 ·················· 108
054―예쁜 뒤꼭지 ························ 109
055―진흙 개·························· 110
056―어이, 탑골이야······················· 112
057―잡초를 위하여 ······················· 114
058―호박잎 바나나잎 ······················ 116
059―울고 있는 마리아······················ 117
060―엘람인들의 비둘기국 ···················· 118

네번째 편지 : 종 모양의 토기, 그리고 과거를 바라보기, 아니 지나간 시간을

소처럼 우물거리기, 벗들을 그리워하기―주인석 벗에게·········· 119

061―하늘길, 지상길······················· 127
062―거품의 눈물 ························ 128
063―목장우유 ························· 129
064―사라의 집························· 130
065―고마웠다, 그 생의 어떤 시간 ················· 131
066―문화인 ·························· 132
067―하마 이야기 ························ 133
068―고추 말리는 마을······················ 134
069―목마름 ·························· 135
070―나는 단 한 번도 ······················ 136
071―새의 풍장························· 138
072―죽음을 맞이하는 힘····················· 139
073―호상 ··························· 140
074―인생? ·························· 142
075―호머 심슨의 세계······················ 144

다섯번째 편지 : 킬링 슈트라세, 양파 썩는 냄새가 나던 집 ········· 145

076―에어리어 51························ 164
077―부정 ··························· 165
078―광우병 ·························· 166
079―누워서 바다를 지나가기 ··················· 168
080―내 친구 히틀러? ······················ 170
081―원자력 발전소를 지나며 ··················· 171
082―끓인 맥주························· 172
083―목련꽃 그늘에 누워····················· 173
084―이 지상의 집값······················· 174
085―이른 봄 음식 ······················· 176
086―말, 말 ·························· 178
087―산지기의 집 ························ 180
088―전쟁과 졸업 ························ 182
089―그것 ··························· 184
090―지극한 마음 ························ 185

여섯번째 편지 : 기숙사의 봄을 맞으며 떠나올 때를 생각하기,
혹은 아직 낯선 곳에 머물고 있는 이유를 생각하기―혜경에게······· 187

091―무소식 ·························· 194
092―팥죽 이별························· 195
093―유등놀이 ························· 196
094―피냄새 나는 이름들····················· 198
095―살기 좋은 곳 ······················· 200
096―옛날이 가지 않는 이름 ··················· 202
097―건조한 초원 지역의 목화밭·················· 204
098―독재자 ·························· 205
099―어느 측량사의 여행 가방 ·················· 206
100―전갈에게 물린 남자····················· 208
101―결정적인 순간을 앞에 두고 도망치기·············· 211
102―동백꽃 ·························· 212
103―공부할 만한 사람······················ 213
104―중세의 조건 ························ 214
105―보기에 민망하다, 고 느끼는 나는? ··············· 216

일곱번째 편지 : 난쉐와 그 여신이 보호했던 많은 이를 위하여 ······· 217

106―한 달 생활비 ······················· 226
107―인간이 점치지 못하는 일 ·················· 227
108―옛 동독 지방에서는 지금 무슨 일이 일어나고 있을까? ······· 228
109―칠성사이다 ························ 229
110―물고기떡 ························· 230
111―환한 멸치볶음 ······················· 232
112―한국 식품점 ························ 233
113―개를 데리고 다니는 사람 ·················· 234
114―도라지꽃 ························· 236
115―동생 ··························· 237
116―크리스마스 저녁 ······················ 238
117―거울을 바라보기 ······················ 239
118―미라 ··························· 240
119―아들과 아버지 ······················· 242
120―압살라 ·························· 243

여덟번째 편지 : 잊음을 위한 권유··················· 245

121―그러던 시절 ························ 255
122―어머니의 보통학교 동창회 ·················· 256
123―교양 부족························· 258
124―호적 등본························· 260
125―나를 위해서만 사는 삶 ··················· 261
126―그 사랑 노래 ······················· 262
127―길모퉁이의 중국 식당···················· 264
128―생선 ··························· 265
129―정선 아리랑 ························ 266
130―아직도 아가인 사람의 마음 냄새 ··············· 268
131―울산바위 ························· 269
132―쓰레기 고고학 ······················· 270
133―사진 한 장 ························ 272
134―청금석 ·························· 274
135―통일 후·························· 276

여덟번째 편지 : 이방에서 낯선 사람들을 바라보기, 친해지기,

마음속으로 들어앉히기 ····················· 279
136―베두인의 치즈 ······················· 302
137―내 마음속의 시장······················ 304
138―바론 호텔························· 306
139―우울했던 소녀 ······················· 308

발문 가장자리에서부터 종이가 울었습니다―수경 선배에게┃박준(시인) ···· 311

도서소개

 내가 누군가를 ‘너’라고 부른다.
내 안에서 언제 태어났는지도 모를 그리움이 손에 잡히는 순간이다.

불안하고,
초조하고,
황홀하고,
외로운,
이 나비 같은 시간들.

그리움은 네가 나보다 내 안에 더 많아질 때 진정 아름다워진다.
이 책은 그 아름다움을 닮으려 한 기록이다.

아무리 오랜 시간을 지나더라도……
 

2018년 7월 1일
허수경

 

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